The Winter of my Discontent

I've been reading a quote from the commencement speech Steve Jobs gave at Stanford University back in 2005. It's been in my head for ~2 weeks now.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

The end of 2011 is approaching and I've been looking back on the year. It was quite a wild ride for me. My coursework was finished at the end of 2010 and the first 6 months was filled with clinical work. I was fortunate enough to spend 4 months with an excellent instructor learning not only about how to improve my skills, but how to sell myself and my services to patients. There are many facilities out there and they can go anywhere so you have to make yourself stand apart from the rest. It was really good information and I try to apply it each day. Upon graduation I started work and studied for my boards. I passed them in September and what a relief it was. Now I was able to focus on improving my skills as a therapist. I read the latest research and try to become an efficient clinician. Most insurance companies don't approve a lot of visits so you have to maximize what you do in a short period of time. It's a good challenge and I've had some great patients to work with.

But there is a necessary evil to the business as well. You aren't always going to work with your 'ideal' patient population. You have to take the bad with the good to pay your salary. For me, the geriatric population is the bad. Once 2012 rolls in, so will they. It's a whole new year for their insurance. I have looked at my schedule for next week and it is chock full of them coming for their evaluations.  I'm not looking forward to it. I will evaluate them with the same level of attention that I evaluate my younger patients with, but deep down I will not be happy.  It's lead me to think about the quote above and sadly there have been quite a few "no" mornings lately. I was up at 3a the other morning and having difficulty falling back asleep. My head was full of thoughts about what do I want from my career and what can I do to put myself in a position to make myself happier and get more enjoyment from my work. I jotted some notes down and went back to sleep. This weekend I will flip through those notes and see what I can do to change in order to make my mornings a "Yes" morning.